All through my 20’s I backpacked through different wildernesses in the desert southwest, primarily in Arizona. I’d go with friends, I’d go alone, at the first opportunity, say a three day weekend, or spring break, or the entire summer! And after a while, after all the miles and experiences, having endured storms or struggled to find sources of water in a particularly arid stretch of mountains, I felt like I knew what I doing. I knew how to pack, what the right gear was for different terrain, when to leave or take a tent, if I needed to bother bringing spare clothes, if cheese would make it, etc. I felt confident, almost over-confident.
And then one day I had children and everything I thought I knew about backpacking, including what a difficult hike was or is, kind of went out the window.
Backpacking with children is entirely different. I’d say that if you haven’t done it, you don’t truly know what a challenge in the outdoors is. It is sooo easy looking back at even my most difficult backpacking trip and laughing at my struggles, because, to be honest, when all you have to take care of is yourself, then the going is not that tough.
I think of our primordial parents, raising human beings in caves, having to migrate hundreds of miles with toddlers and infants, keeping them from wild animals and cliffs and flash floods and ticks. How improbably is it that we have survived this long given the delicate state and requirements for a human infant to survive?
One of the obvious differences ins’t necessarily the amount of weight you are carrying when backpacking with a toddler. You can discard heavy amenities and excesses that tend to find the backpack when going it alone to balance the difference (unless it’s an overnighter!). The difference on a day trip is that the weight of a toddler is living and moving, with wants and needs. My toddler bounces in the pack when excited, even yelling “giddy-up!” when excited as if I’m her personal horse, which I sort of am.
That brings me to another difference: Backpacking with friends or solo is mostly about you. Backpacking with a toddler is mostly about them. If they want to get out and stop, you’ll probably have to stop, even if the spot your currently at isn’t ideal. Sometimes you have a sight you really want to see, and the hike is four miles in and four miles out. If your toddler isn’t willing to play along for the ride, you might have to let that goal go for the sake of keeping the adventure fun and light and focussed on the toddler, rather than yourself. It’s almost an act of practicing Buddhism, taking the circumstance as it comes and accepting it in all its forms.
What I can say is that practice makes perfect. Start small, and consistently go out with your child. Over the course of a year they will develop a routine and comfort out of the discomfort and adventure that comes with backpacking. My daughter has learned that I usually have a cool destination in mind, and that I bring lots of delicious snacks, and that when we get there I’ll put the hammock up and we can eat. She loves eating in the hammock.
Over time my daughter got to the point where she would even sleep for a two or three miles, or about an hour in the pack, so that I could plan my trip around her napping while I hiked. This was best if I really wanted to push the mileage on a particular day. Ultimately, I find the difficulties worth it. My daughter has become my favorite backpacking partner, always down to go six or seven miles, especially if I choose a spot with water. But this all started by taking her to local parks and hiking less than a mile. So start slow, and grow from there. It’s totally worth it.
Outdoor Parenting 